1. Colleague No. 1 has exquisite taste in concert fashion wear. They merge the traditional with something new and fresh – and then add something quite untraditional.
2. Colleague No. 2 specializes in 16th and early 17th century art songs. They perform wearing a dress, instead of the traditional jacket, tie, and slacks.
3. For 20 years, Colleague No. 3 wanted to cut their long and flowing hair to a much shorter length. They also wished to dress in a more contemporary style, rather than the expected long, formal gown. The Elders had a strict rule against both acts of alteration, insisting that everything should stay long and flowing.
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a. Colleague No. 1 struggled with those stares and glares from people across the room. That crowd clearly didn’t find their concert-ware suitable for the concert stage. Colleague No. 1 started ignoring them (as best as they could), focusing instead on what they wanted to bring to their musical performance.
Not too long into this new process, their bookings and engagements increased, including both solo and concerto dates. They also received a major grant from a national institution to fund their passion project.
b. Colleague No. 2’s performances of 16th century and early 17th century songs are immediately gripping and utterly convincing. It takes about 60 seconds for audiences to become completely mesmerized by what they heard. Dress and dresses were no longer part of their concert enjoyment equation.
c. Ahhh, Colleague No. 3…my favorite. Since cutting their hair (20 years later), Colleague No. 3 has won two principal positions at two major U-S orchestras. I’m not saying a good haircut wins auditions, but it can make someone look and feel sunnier, and even more assured than pre-haircut.
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What do colleagues 1, 2, and 3 have in common?
They stayed the course – their course – despite the pushbacks, the inappropriate expectations of others, and the disapproving glares and stares.
Each made the decision to be their authentic self and offered little explanation and no apology.
This is a powerful formula for living.
Little or no explanation - No apology.
Too simple to be true? Please think again.
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These are my set ups and my imaginary responses illustrating “No Explanation — No Apology” in action.
*Why do you perform wearing dresses when you perform on stage?
**I like how it feels, and I like how I look. I now have an additional foundation to offer a committed performance.
*Why do you dress so weirdly?
**It’s who I am.
*You don’t look like the others who play your instrument.
**I like how I look with shorter hair, and what I wear on stage looks and feels comfortable and elegant.
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“What was your big break, and when did it happen?
“I’ve had multiple big breaks — some bigger than others. But they all happened the day I began following this fatherly advice from Shakespeare’s Hamlet.”
"This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man."
